Expectations

What qualities do you look for in a friend? To me it's compatible personalities (basically anyone I can get along with reasonably well), a sense of morality (a friend doing evil is the same as me doing evil), and absolute honesty (if I can't trust a friend to tell me the truth, how can I trust anyone else?)

To sum up a (very) long story, a had a group of friends about six months ago that I had grown so close to I considered them family. Shortly after my nasty breakup with my long-time girlfriend and fiancee, these people turned against me and instead of providing me with the emotional support I needed in one of the most trying times of my life, they shunned me from their social group because it was convenient to side with my ex completely instead of discerning all of the story. This strikes me especially hard because this group of people prides themself on being honorous above all things, and I feel taking a hard and fast approach of cutting someone out instead of finding the true story betrays that honor completely.

Beyond that betrayal of honor and morality (and honesty, since they didn't talk to me about it), there is one further. A number of my closer friends (whom I still talk to) remain in that social group. My ex, whom I have become good friends with again, and a friend named Sarah, are both certainly in that group.

My dilemma comes in this. Though I would expect them to stand up for me in the group of obviously-misled friends of mine, I don't necessarily "expect" them to. I suppose the difference lies in being disappointed with my friends that they are not more supportive of me, and being disappointed in myself that I picked friends that are not more supportive of me. I'm firmly in the second category.

It's not so much that I expect my friends to be proactive in this way as much as I'm disappointed that they're not. I don't know if that makes sense, but refer to my previous paragraph.

What do you think? Leave a comment.